The Mystic's Guide to Not Losing It at Work

Nicole
Jul 7
2 min read

Because deep breaths beat dramatic exits (most of the time)

We’ve all had that moment. The email that reads like a passive-aggressive haiku. The meeting that could’ve been an email. The coworker who weaponizes "just circling back" like it's a full-time job. Corporate life isn’t just a test of skills—it’s a spiritual endurance challenge. Welcome to the workplace: a modern-day labyrinth of deadlines, egos, and fluorescent lighting. If you're a little witchy, a little weary, and trying to survive without hexing your calendar app, this guide is for you.

Step 1: Ground Before You Scroll

You wake up. You grab your phone. You’re hit with Slack messages before your nervous system has even remembered it’s human. Pause. Before you dive headfirst into the digital chaos, take 60 seconds to anchor yourself.Try this:

One hand on heart, one on belly.
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6.Repeat 3 times.Boom. You just reset your nervous system. No smudging required (unless you’re into that—then go wild, sage queen).

Step 2: Energetic Boundaries Are the New Black

It’s not just about "saying no" or "managing expectations" (though, yes, do those things). It’s also about not absorbing every mood in the office like a human sponge.Before logging in, visualize a soft golden light around you. Not a brick wall—more like an energetic bubble that filters out other people’s drama. You’ll still be compassionate, but no longer a walking emotional Wi-Fi receiver.

Step 3: Banish the Bullsh*t (Ritual Optional)

That toxic team dynamic? The soul-sucking project? The outdated policy that makes you question capitalism and your will to live?Take a notebook and write down the crap you’re ready to let go of. Be honest. Be salty. Then—burn it (safely) or shred it into confetti. Call it a spell, call it catharsis. Just don’t let it fester in your body.

Step 4: Create Micro-Moments of Magick

You don’t need a full moon or a four-hour morning routine. You just need tiny, intentional moments that remind you who the hell you are.

Stir your coffee clockwise and set an intention.
Pick a tarot card at lunch.
Program your screensaver with an affirmation (e.g., “I don’t shrink to fit systems that were never built for me”).

Step 5: Don’t Wait for Burnout to Start Healing

Repeat after me: Rest is not earned—it’s essential.If your idea of a break is doom-scrolling in the bathroom stall, we need to talk. Try:

A 5-minute walk with no phone.
A body scan during a meeting (no one needs to know).
Saying “no” and resisting the urge to explain why. Revolutionary.

Channel the Mystic Rebel in You

The truth is, we’re not meant to just survive our workdays. We’re meant to infuse them with intention, autonomy, and (yes) a little magick. Whether that means warding off micromanagers with obsidian in your pocket or just reclaiming your lunch break like a badass—you get to choose your rituals. So next time you feel yourself about to lose it? Close your eyes. Breathe. And remember: even in the chaos, you carry your own cauldron of calm.

Want more workplace witchery? Stay tuned for the next Mystical Meets Monday, where we’ll dive into crafting energy shields for open-plan offices.