Who Actually Benefits from Patriarchy?

The Patriarchy? It’s like an old spell that binds us all—only most people don’t even realize they’re tied. It promises power and order, yet distributes both unequally, enforces roles, and harms everyone caught in it. Why does it persist? Because it is deeply embedded in the stories we tell ourselves. And because a few at the top like to keep the spell intact.

It’s as if we are acting in a play whose script we never signed. The lead roles are already assigned, and the director keeps us speaking our lines in ways that make everyone believe it’s “natural.”

But who really sits on the stage of power? Historically, patriarchal structures elevated men into positions of privileged visibility and decision-making authority. Men gained access to land, resources, education, political influence—often at the expense of women and marginalized groups (Connell, 2009; Risman, 2018). Yet even these “winners” are trapped in the rules of the game: the spell tells them that strength equals dominance, success equals competition, worth equals control. Emotions, intuition, cooperation—everything labeled “feminine”—must be suppressed.

In short: patriarchy distributes power unequally, sells it as a gift, while secretly stealing energy, impoverishing relationships, and curbing creativity. Men may appear at the top, but they pay a high price. Hypermasculinity, performance pressure, emotional dissociation, and social isolation are not exceptions—they are part of the system that pretends to benefit them.

The real beneficiaries? Not men per se, but those who control the mechanisms: institutions, corporations, political and social networks that uphold hierarchy and competition. Patriarchy keeps not just individuals in roles—it keeps systems running that profit from exploitation, hierarchy, and control.

And while some sit on the stage applauding, many others sit in the front row—only realizing too late that they, too, are part of the spell because it feels so normal.

Who Really Benefits—and Who Pays the Price?

Let’s look closer: patriarchy assigns unequal roles but sells them as a gift. Men may appear at the top, but they pay a steep price. From an early age, boys are drilled to suppress emotions, ignore intuition, hide vulnerability, embrace competition, and perform dominance (Pollack, 1998; Connell, 2005). Hypermasculinity, performance pressure, social isolation, and the constant need to assert control are not individual weaknesses—they are systemic costs of the “privileged” position that patriarchal structures simulate.

In short: anyone who thinks patriarchy is “good for men” overlooks that it steals their energy, creativity, empathy, and joy. Men, too, live under the spell—as prisoners of the roles imposed on them. The freedom to feel, to enjoy intimacy, to be vulnerable, is systematically denied.

Historically and anthropologically, the idea of matriarchy as a “power reversal” is a myth. Matriarchal structures are alternative societal models in which responsibility is shared, decisions are made collectively, and care, cooperation, and intuition are valued (Sanders, 2001; Rosaldo, 1974; Ehrenberg, 2011). The aim is not to oppress others, but to create balance—centering the well-being of children, families, and communities. Patriarchy, by contrast, separates, judges, extracts, and steals energy. Anyone who interprets matriarchy as “women’s power over men” misses the point: alternative structures can bring healing and balance instead of merely flipping old patterns.

The lesson is clear: patriarchy harms most people—regardless of gender. There are no winners in the human sense, only systemic beneficiaries: institutions, hierarchies, corporations, political networks—that profit from control, exploitation, and repetition. The work we do, the emotions we regulate, the bodies we manage—all become an energy source for a system that claims to be “normal.”

Who really benefits, then, is not men as a gender, but the system itself. And to break it, we must recognize that liberation does not mean reversing power, but sharing it, questioning roles, and enabling human potential for all.

Rebellion & Empowerment: Reclaiming Your Power

And now for the exciting part: we are not doomed to be mere spectators in the theater of patriarchy. We can consciously step out, reclaim our energy, and write the script ourselves.

Liberation begins with awareness: Which old roles do you still play—in relationships, at work, in families, in your own head? Which stories have you believed simply because they’ve been told for so long? Speak your truth. Set boundaries. Say “No” to what exhausts you. Say “Yes” to what nourishes you.

Every conscious choice is a small magic, a thread unraveling the ancient spell of patriarchy. Your body, your intuition, and your creativity are archives of your own truth—and the system fears exactly that. Breath, movement, touch, ritual, or simply consciously inhabiting your being are ways to reconnect with your life force.

And when you are with others, share presence instead of competition, celebrate cooperation instead of dominance, honor balance and respect. Freedom does not mean reversing control, but questioning it on all levels and redistributing it. Every action, every thought, every “Yes” and every “No” is an act of rebellion. Patriarchy may be old, powerful, and seductive—but it is only a spell, not a law of nature.

For concrete steps, rituals, and ways to break the spell of patriarchy and reclaim your sovereignty, read the next article: “Breaking the Spell of Patriarchy.”